The Realest News on the Web http://www.keeping-it-real.com/ Washington, DC - The Bush administration, which is currently 100% Republican, made a shocking discovery on Monday as new intel showed that it is in fact gays and abortion clinics holding WMDs right here inside the US. http://www.keeping-it-real.com/Articles/BushGaysAbortionWMDs.html http://www.keeping-it-real.com/Articles/BushGaysAbortionWMDs.html Adam Buxton of Lucan has reason to celebrate this evening. The 37 year old window cleaner and father of two achieved a new personal best high score Tuesday night while playing along at home with the popular game show "Jeopardy!" Buxton totaled a score of $17400 after correctly answering the Final Jeopardy clue in the form of a question during Tuesday's broadcast of the special "Teen Jeopardy" edition. http://www.keeping-it-real.com/Articles/TeenJeopardy.html http://www.keeping-it-real.com/Articles/TeenJeopardy.html Los Angeles, CA - The world was overwhelmed with nervous anticipation on Monday as rumours circulated that self-described musical phenomenon Justin Timberlake had something to declare to the world. http://www.keeping-it-real.com/Articles/TimberlakeDeclaresSomething.html http://www.keeping-it-real.com/Articles/TimberlakeDeclaresSomething.html Los Angeles, CA -- Only a few days after being released from prison, Paris Hilton decided to make an appearance on The Larry King Live show to talk about her experiences and explain how they have changed her as a person. Insiders reported that while Larry King went into the interview perceiving Paris to be an impudent girl of loose virtues, she managed to thoroughly convince him otherwise. That was, of course, until Paris seduced and vigorously ravaged King after the taping. http://www.keeping-it-real.com/Articles/ParisNailsKing.html http://www.keeping-it-real.com/Articles/ParisNailsKing.html Los Angeles, CA - It has been reported that celebrity David Hasselhoff, legendary television actor, has been doing some serious soul searching to find some direction in his life. While he did not find the answers he was looking for, he did find a scrumptious yet messy hamburger on the floor of his west Hollywood home. http://www.keeping-it-real.com/Articles/DavidHasselhoffSearchesForAnswers.html http://www.keeping-it-real.com/Articles/DavidHasselhoffSearchesForAnswers.html Strathroy, ON - On Saturday, July 19th, area residents were enjoying themselves at the wedding reception of Danny Moniz and Kelly McIntyre. This reception featured a fantastic 5 course meal, open bar, and an excessive amount of undulation and/or gyration on the dance floor. While most experienced high levels of merriment from this combination, it was this same combination that produced disastrous results in a nearby public bathroom at the Strathroy Portuguese club. http://www.keeping-it-real.com/Articles/MiscreantDefilesBathroom.html http://www.keeping-it-real.com/Articles/MiscreantDefilesBathroom.html In a shocking move deemed necessary to cut soaring costs, General Motors announced today that it would lay off all of it's production workers and shutter all but one of it's vehicle assembly plants in North America. The announcement was made by CEO Rick Wagoner who said the cuts would affect 65,000 production workers and mean the closure of 29 assembly plants. The sole surviving plant is the former candy plant recently acquired by GM from owner and plant manager W. Wonka. Wagoner said that GM is consolidating production of all vehicles to the converted assembly plant, and has no plans to decrease production volumes. http://www.keeping-it-real.com/Articles/GMLaysOffAllWorkers.html http://www.keeping-it-real.com/Articles/GMLaysOffAllWorkers.html Honolulu, HI - It has been only a few months since the cancellation of the hit show "Dog the Bounty Hunter" on A&E, but already Dog has a new show that he believes will be better than the original ever was. The name he has provided for the new show is "Dog the Negro Hunter". http://www.keeping-it-real.com/Articles/DogTheNegroHunter.html http://www.keeping-it-real.com/Articles/DogTheNegroHunter.html Washington, DC - Seeking to broaden his appeal among voters, President Bush unveiled a new military plan that he believes will greatly assist the war efforts in Iraq. This plan, which is already garnering some controversy, has been named "Operation Deploy 20,000 Soldiers to have their Legs Blown Off By Land Mines", or "OD20,000STHTLBOBLM" for short. http://www.keeping-it-real.com/Articles/BushLandMine.html http://www.keeping-it-real.com/Articles/BushLandMine.html