Despicable Comments in Tiffany Heisler’s Grade 10 Yearbook Still Unknown
GLENCOE, ON – It was roughly 10 years ago when local menace Ian McColl wrote something so vile, so deplorable in Tiffany Heisler’s school yearbook that she felt the need to unleash what can only be called “the written scorning of a lifetime”.
Little did Ian know that when his yearbook ended up in Tiffany’s possession on June 2000, she was ready to unleash something extraordinary. Two long years she had waited in (relative) silence to exact her revenge.
With expert precision, Tiffany created something that made the world sit up and take notice. It was horrifying, and yet it was beautiful. It was 58 words of the most finely crafted reprisal the world has ever seen.
With his confidence and ego now shattered, Ian could only then speculate on what could have brought on such a fierce and unrelenting written lashing.
Now, in 2008, Ian still has the yearbook that contains the message that he received on that fateful day, so many years ago. He prefers not to read it again, not wanting to re-live that experience again. However, he has allowed us to publish a copy of this influential message.
Tiffany writes,
And there you have it. Nothing of this magnitude will likely ever be written again, god willing. We will now attempt to disect this message to understand how it is so effective.
Tiffany begins by promptly informing Ian that he is a bitch. This was done to avoid the unfavorable scenario in which Ian might have read part of the way through the message, not knowing for certain if he was in fact a bitch. Stunning work.
Continuing with our analysis, let's address the next line. Tiffany states, "Don't be surprised by me writing that because you already know it." Here she is directly attacking the psyche of this young man. She is basically saying, "You know you're a bitch, stop pretending to be a non-bitch to the world. Be true to yourself." This is a powerful psychological attack. Remarkable stuff. Let's move on.
In the next line, Tiffany states that Ian's bitchness is not a recent development. It has slowly matured over time, starting when she was in grade 10. This drives the point home that Ian has been a larger than average bitch for an extended period.
The next line is quite potent. She writes, "I'm still mad at what you wrote in my yearbook then but you never knew." This is a very hard-hitting statement because it lets Ian know that he was completely ignorant of Tiffany's feelings and where she might want him to go. She clears up any confusion with her next line.
Perhaps the most powerful line of all is the brief closing statement. "I hate you Ian. Go to hell." Please note that "hate" is underlined roughly 19 times. It is clear that Tiffany wanted to ensure that this word (and sentence) was not skipped.
The next sentence, "Go to hell" is worth examining. This is in stark contrast to something like, "Go to the library and save us a table so we can study together and share a few laughs." This is more like, "Go to the deepest pit of hell and spend an eternity in agony and despair. I hope Lucifer uses your skull for his majestic goblet, and his devil dogs rape and pillage your charred body. That will teach you not to be a bitch to me since grade 10." A very strong statement indeed, and a nice way to wrap up the yearbook message.
Our next mission is to find out what Ian wrote in Tiffany's yearbook to deserve this. We will report back with our findings.
Little did Ian know that when his yearbook ended up in Tiffany’s possession on June 2000, she was ready to unleash something extraordinary. Two long years she had waited in (relative) silence to exact her revenge.
With expert precision, Tiffany created something that made the world sit up and take notice. It was horrifying, and yet it was beautiful. It was 58 words of the most finely crafted reprisal the world has ever seen.
With his confidence and ego now shattered, Ian could only then speculate on what could have brought on such a fierce and unrelenting written lashing.
Now, in 2008, Ian still has the yearbook that contains the message that he received on that fateful day, so many years ago. He prefers not to read it again, not wanting to re-live that experience again. However, he has allowed us to publish a copy of this influential message.
Tiffany writes,
Tiffany deals out the pain, with a side of bitchslap.
And there you have it. Nothing of this magnitude will likely ever be written again, god willing. We will now attempt to disect this message to understand how it is so effective.
Tiffany begins by promptly informing Ian that he is a bitch. This was done to avoid the unfavorable scenario in which Ian might have read part of the way through the message, not knowing for certain if he was in fact a bitch. Stunning work.
The eyes have been covered
for your own protection.
for your own protection.
In the next line, Tiffany states that Ian's bitchness is not a recent development. It has slowly matured over time, starting when she was in grade 10. This drives the point home that Ian has been a larger than average bitch for an extended period.
The next line is quite potent. She writes, "I'm still mad at what you wrote in my yearbook then but you never knew." This is a very hard-hitting statement because it lets Ian know that he was completely ignorant of Tiffany's feelings and where she might want him to go. She clears up any confusion with her next line.
Perhaps the most powerful line of all is the brief closing statement. "I hate you Ian. Go to hell." Please note that "hate" is underlined roughly 19 times. It is clear that Tiffany wanted to ensure that this word (and sentence) was not skipped.
The next sentence, "Go to hell" is worth examining. This is in stark contrast to something like, "Go to the library and save us a table so we can study together and share a few laughs." This is more like, "Go to the deepest pit of hell and spend an eternity in agony and despair. I hope Lucifer uses your skull for his majestic goblet, and his devil dogs rape and pillage your charred body. That will teach you not to be a bitch to me since grade 10." A very strong statement indeed, and a nice way to wrap up the yearbook message.
Our next mission is to find out what Ian wrote in Tiffany's yearbook to deserve this. We will report back with our findings.
