Paris Hilton Convinces Larry King That She Has Changed Her Drunken Promiscuous Ways, But Ultimately Nails Him
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Los Angeles, CA -- Only a few days after being released from prison, Paris Hilton decided to make an appearance on The Larry King Live show to talk about her experiences and explain how they have changed her as a person. Insiders reported that while Larry King went into the interview perceiving Paris to be an impudent girl of loose virtues, she managed to thoroughly convince him otherwise. That was, of course, until Paris seduced and vigorously ravaged King after the taping.
Those close to the 75-year-old television host report that after the show was taped, King retired to his dressing room where he began changing. Paris then came knocking on his door, and asked if she could come in to talk. King seemed surprised by this request, but assuming the purest of intentions, he let her in.
What followed was the most unholy of sexual unions. Shortly after sharing a drink, Paris lost control of herself and aggressively attacked and mounted her victim. Though he struggled, Paris kept him pinned to ensure that her lurid desires were satisfied. As torn clothing went flying in multiple directions, this vile temptress fulfilled her despicable needs in a fashion that would make the 2 girls with 1 cup blush.
"It would be difficult to describe the sounds that emanated from that room," remarked John Gillis, a stagehand for the show. "It sounded like a man was being beaten, and a woman was giving birth, simultaneously."
After a while the noises subsided, and a barely clothed Paris non-chalantly left the room and then the studio. Larry King lay battered and bruised inside his dressing room, seemingly unaware of his surroundings. He was visibly disoriented and could only muster these words: "....that whore tricked me...". He was immediately taken to the hospital for treatment.
Linda Dawson, a psychologist specializing in sexual dysfunction, had this to say about the events. "It's extremely unfortunate that Larry King dropped his guard that night. He should have known that when you lock up a girl like Paris for 3 weeks without sex, no man is safe - even senior citizens. If I had to make a diagnosis, I would say that Paris Hilton suffers from an extreme case of CumDumpsterism and should get help immediately."
Paris is reportedly still on the loose, concealing her true identity from police by wearing sunglasses that are 3 times larger than what is considered conventional.
Those close to the 75-year-old television host report that after the show was taped, King retired to his dressing room where he began changing. Paris then came knocking on his door, and asked if she could come in to talk. King seemed surprised by this request, but assuming the purest of intentions, he let her in.
A scantily-clad Paris ducks
into the bushes after
violating Larry King.
into the bushes after
violating Larry King.
"It would be difficult to describe the sounds that emanated from that room," remarked John Gillis, a stagehand for the show. "It sounded like a man was being beaten, and a woman was giving birth, simultaneously."
After a while the noises subsided, and a barely clothed Paris non-chalantly left the room and then the studio. Larry King lay battered and bruised inside his dressing room, seemingly unaware of his surroundings. He was visibly disoriented and could only muster these words: "....that whore tricked me...". He was immediately taken to the hospital for treatment.
Linda Dawson, a psychologist specializing in sexual dysfunction, had this to say about the events. "It's extremely unfortunate that Larry King dropped his guard that night. He should have known that when you lock up a girl like Paris for 3 weeks without sex, no man is safe - even senior citizens. If I had to make a diagnosis, I would say that Paris Hilton suffers from an extreme case of CumDumpsterism and should get help immediately."
Paris is reportedly still on the loose, concealing her true identity from police by wearing sunglasses that are 3 times larger than what is considered conventional.
