Dog the Ex-Bounty Hunter Having Trouble Pitching His New Show: “Dog The Negro Hunter”
Reference (Offensive language):
Reference (Offensive language):
HONOLULU, HI – It has been only a few months since the cancellation of the hit show “Dog the Bounty Hunter” on A&E, but already Dog has a new show that he believes will be better than the original ever was. The name he has provided for the new show is “Dog the Negro Hunter”.
You may remember that the cancellation of the original show was due to a recording that was made public of Dog on a heated racist tirade, scorning his son because he was dating a black woman. This shocked the public and the network, and the show was promptly taken off the air. Dog maintained that while he does use the word “nigger” in abundance, he does not mean it in a negative way and was treated unfairly.
Still passionate about making things right, Dog was created a new show that he believes will change everyone’s minds about his true feelings regarding black people. “This is a show that will make people see me for the man that I am, one who loves every human being on the planet, whether they are white, yellow, or have ashy black skin,” Dog explained.
Dog continues, “It is true that in my new show I will only hunt negros. But, this is only because I care about them so much. Black people commit most of their crimes against whom, you ask? That’s right, other darkies. They obviously don’t have the resources to travel often to areas where white people live. So, I will protect these animals from themselves.”
While Dog typically only chased criminals with existing bounties in the previous show, this one will be different. “Bounties are not necessary this time around. No black man will be safe. I could hunt them down anytime, whether they are mowing their lawn, enjoying dinner with friends, or possibly stealing a job away from a more deserving white man. No one really knows when they will commit a crime, so it’s best to take the initiative and strike first,” Dog said. “Again I must repeat, this is to help them. Every Negro that is contained means a few less crimes committed against the black community. It takes a big man to step up and protect a worthless niche of our society.”
Despite Dog’s optimism that this will be a groundbreaking series that will clear his name, he has only gotten negative reactions thus far from television networks. “To be honest I am completely shocked that there is not higher demand for this type of program,” Dog said. “But, I have a few more networks to go, and if all else fails, I will have BET. I assume that is a complete lock.”
You may remember that the cancellation of the original show was due to a recording that was made public of Dog on a heated racist tirade, scorning his son because he was dating a black woman. This shocked the public and the network, and the show was promptly taken off the air. Dog maintained that while he does use the word “nigger” in abundance, he does not mean it in a negative way and was treated unfairly.
Still passionate about making things right, Dog was created a new show that he believes will change everyone’s minds about his true feelings regarding black people. “This is a show that will make people see me for the man that I am, one who loves every human being on the planet, whether they are white, yellow, or have ashy black skin,” Dog explained.
Dog continues, “It is true that in my new show I will only hunt negros. But, this is only because I care about them so much. Black people commit most of their crimes against whom, you ask? That’s right, other darkies. They obviously don’t have the resources to travel often to areas where white people live. So, I will protect these animals from themselves.”
While Dog typically only chased criminals with existing bounties in the previous show, this one will be different. “Bounties are not necessary this time around. No black man will be safe. I could hunt them down anytime, whether they are mowing their lawn, enjoying dinner with friends, or possibly stealing a job away from a more deserving white man. No one really knows when they will commit a crime, so it’s best to take the initiative and strike first,” Dog said. “Again I must repeat, this is to help them. Every Negro that is contained means a few less crimes committed against the black community. It takes a big man to step up and protect a worthless niche of our society.”
Dog the Negro Hunter, protector of the black.
Despite Dog’s optimism that this will be a groundbreaking series that will clear his name, he has only gotten negative reactions thus far from television networks. “To be honest I am completely shocked that there is not higher demand for this type of program,” Dog said. “But, I have a few more networks to go, and if all else fails, I will have BET. I assume that is a complete lock.”
